Agoraphobia

I seem to have developed a fear of going outside. Or maybe I have developed a disinterest in going outside. I think that what I have is somewhere in between these two things. Back when I was a teenage, which really wasn't that many years ago, I was incredibly shy. The only time I really left my house was to go to school. I had no friends at school, so there was never really any reason for me to ever leave. By the time I started university, I still had a bit of that inside of me. Having a roommate forced me to go out more because I didn't want them to think that I was nuts by staying indoors all of the time and never going anywhere.

Once I finally started to make friends at Uni, I started going outside lots more, and it became something that I hardly ever thought of. Now that I am back home after finishing college, I never want to go outside again. I just can't seem to find the motivation to do it. I don't know exactly why but I hate going outdoors. It could have a lot to do with where I live, and how hard it is to get anywhere from here, but it also has to do with a strange sensation of resistance to the whole idea of being outdoors. This is bad, very bad. I don't want to be a hermit, but I think that is exactly what I am turning into.

I probably need some sort of therapy or something. I need to start practicing some exercises that are going to help get me outdoors more often. It's a bad thing to work at home when you are like this because then you really never ever leave the house. Why would I ever need to when I have everything I need right here. Uh oh. I bet I'd be a lot less hermit like if the internet had never been invented. I don't even want to think about what kind of world that would have been like. Yikes.